The "Aint' Shit" Factor

So I've had this debate with a few different friends over the past few day... Relationships. What makes a good man/woman? I keep hearing that men are dogs and women aint shit. Well this CAN'T possibly be true because I know I'm a good woman and I've dated guys who have not "dogged" me. The question asked to me was what makes a good man. I responed with "Someone who when you tell them what you need does what ever they can to give it to you, be it emotional or physical". (this is just 1 item on the loooong list) She responded with "well what if they do all of that and they still cheat"? I reply that if they are cheating they're not fulfilling the emotional part. Later on the same evening I have a convo with a male friend who says the SAME thing but about women... SO... where does that leave us???
It seems from my own life experience and the things that I've seen that we've grown up in a highly sexual era, not like the 60's where sex was unattatched and free but an era where sex is abused and used as a tool. People become involved in sexual relationships with eachother without COMMUNICATION leaving one party confused or hurt. We've been conditioned to "play it cool" and show no emotion, but despite what we show on the outside we are still human and we still hurt. The male and female psyche are extremely complex and OPPOSITE things. Men have sex on a physical plane and women have sex on an emotional. There are many women these days who have trained themselves to think like a man concerning sex. Roles have chaged and so has the female psyche, I know quite a few women who have mastered walking away and acting completely uninterested to gain a mans affections, this usually works, sometimes it does'nt. Case in point, women are still more prone to confuse lust with love or being in love than a man would be.
We are raised as a generation by our mothers, we are the "fatherless" generation. Most young girls (and boys) were raised by a hurt woman and were constanlty reminded how "aint shit" a man is but ironically needing to still constantly be validated by one. (Thank GOD I was'nt raised by my mother because this is all I would have seen and heard, I just saw it at a distance). So I can imagine what a confused state that leaves a child in. Most of the time the "aint shit" factor was proven to the child by constant dissapointment by a father (or mother). So we reach adulthood with the views that have been instilled in us and the hormones of a teenager. What a painful next 10 years...
So how do we stop this downward spiral of of men aint shit cuz women aint shit cuz men aint shit, etc, etc? Here's what I do, and mind you it is a CONSTANT struggle, this is why realtionships are practice and work.
I've been cheated on by the best, career cheaters in the game. I've been the girl laughed at behind her back, I've dealt with the phone calls, text msgs, emails, myspace bullshit, whatever. I've been scarred in ways that are too personal to name. I've also loved hard and gave myself completely and that I don't regret. I may have shut down for a short while but I refuse to give up on love. I refuse to beleive that all men cheat, that all men are "dogs". I'm not going to comprimise my own values about cheating just to (pre) protect myself aginst the emotional pain of a man who may (or may not) even cheat. It's so hard to take 4th and 5th and 6th chances, but this (2 me) is the meaning of life... LOVE. The connections we make, the people we allow close to us. This is the gift that God gives us. Eachother. Wether it is a friend or a lover or a husband or wife. You change what comes into your life by changing YOURSELF therefore changing what you attract to you. The energy you project is like a magnet and will bring like energy back to you (read the Power of Attraction OR The Secret.
So maybe this blog was way too opinionated. This subject was on my mind heavy because I realize that hurt people hurt people and the world is full of them. Changing yourself is the first step. It is the only thing in life we have contol over, everything else is in God's hands... just my opinion.