Depression crashes like waves as unexplained and unexpected as a river changing currents... Uncontrollable, the swing from high to low. Triggered by the simplest thing, sometimes nothing... Not so much depression as deep-ression. Hours and hours dedicated to the dissection and processing of a thought of a thought of a situation. Trapped in this cage of myself. Only when I'm with him am I free. Simple mined at that single moment, to appreciate the sunlight shining through trees. And nothing is missing. My life is beautiful and laced with sarcasm. Maybe a change of scenery is required. An extraction of the negative and replacement with the positive. Everything in my life is perfect I keep telling you... and me... So why amd I so reclusive... It could be as simple as watching Basketball Diaries... I don't take drugs anymore... well not so much these days... Emotion is the passion of the soul, my gift and my curse... on nights like these. Nights like these when I feel like his touch could cure anything. When I crave and ache for the alone when we can secretly and silently absorb into one another, eachother. If I could, I'd paint us the sky...
There will always be a poem
There will always be a poem
I will climb on top of it and come
In and out of time,
Cocking my head to the side slightly,
As I finish shaking,
melting then
Into its body, its soft skin
--Jim Carroll
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